I had my first breast exam today, I have a large lump in my right breast and it turns out it may be a Cyst, which isn’t a big deal, however I did a lot of research on it and it turns out you need to get it drained and it never really goes away. i think that is a good reason to get my breasts removed!

I want to remove my Breasts because i don’t like them on me, it’s the first step to becomming the person i want to be (Alan). however i’m afraid to bring it up to my mother, because last time i tried to tell her i wanted to be a man she wouldn’t stop crying and that was really hard to deal with. i can be stubbourn but i can’t be selfish :/ she knows guilt gets me and i’m afraid she will hold it against me when i ask her about breast removal. but i would honestly kill to have a chest i want a chest more than i want to have money or my job! hopfully it will go much smoother than the first experience but we’ll see

I called a therapist today as well, she never called me back i left her my phone number but didn’t call me back, i hope she had a busy day and didnt ignore me that would be pretty lame (for lack of better sentence) any way. i would like to see a therapist so that she can back up my thoughts about sex change or transgender change. i hope all turns out well in the weeks to come. i have a posotive though about them, and if i keep it up it will be just that

blessed be friends

Iggy