The other day in class, my teacher told me I have a strong voice and that I might wanna be more careful of my tone in the future. I took it pretty hard. Granted, I’d had a pretty bad day leading up to that point, but I immediately started wondering if he knew, if someone had told him, if someone hadn’t told him and he’d just found out, if nobody had told him but he’d suspectd all along because he could see my penis through my pants, if nobody knew and I’d just outed myself in front of the entire class by accidentally speaking too deeply and ruined my reputation forever. All kinds of stupid thoughts.
I didn’t go back to class after break because I was just too messed up. The next day my teacher popped me an email asking why I never went back and I told him that what he said about my voice really got to me and he seemed pretty confused about why exactly that would get to me. He didn’t know shit, still doesn’t, and neither does anybody else.
There’s a moral in this somewhere. I’m mostly posting it so I can poke around and see how things work, but enjoy. Also hey guys I’m new and stuff.
When we are early in transition, we do tend to worry excessively about passing. And the worry robs us of the most effective tool in passing: a genuine smile.
A smile tells everyone that all is well, there’s nothing to see here, move along. A worried look causes people to start looking for a problem. A smile can mean the difference between, “Is that a man in a dress?” and “Wow, she’s tall.”