For those of you not on Facebook, I am reposting this here so you’ll know what happened when I went to Hawaii to pick up my boy earlier this month.  Thanks to all of you for the supportive comments on the Facebook note (over 30 comments). If you aren’t my friend on Facebook, be sure to add me (transmanaz@live.com)

You’ll find another update at the bottom of this posting…

 —  —  —  —  —  —  —  —  – 

Thursday, March 12, 2009 at 7:30am
Many of you have asked how the rescue of my boy went over the past two days. Sadly, I have to tell you I was unable to bring him home.

For those who haven’t a clue what I’m talking about, you can read my blog to catch up at http://www.GenderBlogs.com/on-becoming-a-parent.

Because my boy has been emotionally (and physically) abused his whole life by a domineering, mentally unhealthy mother, I knew he’d be unable to get on a plane and fly here to Phoenix by himself.

I purchased two tickets, one for me to fly to Hawaii to get him, and one for him to fly back with me the following day. Arrangements were made for him to meet me at a specified location on Tuesday. When I arrived he, he wasn’t there.

When I called his cell phone, his mother answered. My heart dropped, and I knew it was a lost cause. The woman was a smooth talker, anyone who doesn’t know the type of person she is would’ve melted, and fully trusted what she had to say. Having been brought up by a mother just like this woman, I knew better, and it was all I could do to keep my emotions and anger inside while listening to her line of bull.

I had to listen to her tell me her “daughter” was not transgender, was emotionally disturbed, had been raped as a child and was in therapy to deal with the issue, and absolutely was forbidden to speak with me, or leave the island.

I then tried to utilize the services of the Hawaii Police, who spent a good half hour with me explaining there was absolutely nothing they could do to help. The officer did get on the phone and call my boy’s phone number, and of course the mother answered. The officer then asked to speak with my boy, and the mother handed the phone to him. She was standing right there beside him on the other end, however, so there was nothing he could tell the officer except that he was ok and it was his choice to stay in Hawaii.

I flew back home yesterday, and received an email from him. His mother had taken not only his phone, but his laptop and access to email. She had a close friend of hers, who happens to be a therapist, declare him legally “unhealthy” and unable to leave the island. My assumption is, (being that he is 18, an adult, and capable of making his own decisions) that they most likely claimed he had either attempted, or stated his intention of, harming himself. That’s the only explanation I can conceive of that would prevent his departure and legally refrain him from leaving on his own free will.

Now, just over $1100.00 spent on nothing and a day later, I am at home in Phoenix, without my boy. He is stuck on the island, with no way of leaving. No way of transitioning, nor getting any kind of support he needs as the transgender young man he is.

I am at a loss, and emotionally, mentally and financially drained. My heart hurts for this boy, for the potential for this boy, that at the moment looks like he will be unable to achieve.

For those of you who have experienced the abuse of mentally unhealthy parents, I’m sure you know the feeling, and have probably experienced the emotional brainwashing that this type of parent can do to you.

I can only ask for everyone’s prayers in this situation. Pray that he will be able to safely get off the island, and come to a welcoming home where he can safely, and accompanied by love and acceptance from my wife and I and the friends who were here waiting for him, become the man he is meant to be.

Seize the day!
Michael B.

 —  —  —  —  —  —  —  —  —  —  — -

March 30, 2009 -

Update : Since this all happened, I have been in contact with the young man, and he has since dropped out of high school, due to his mother convincing him it was the right choice. She has also convinced him that he needs to get his GED before he can leave the island. So he is diligently studying, and hopes to take it towards the latter days of April.

He has support from a local young man here in the valley, and they’ve since formed a strong online relationship. With a lot of encouragement and support, my young man is going to attempt to leave the islands in mid-May to come here to Phoenix.

He has the total love and support of my wife and I, as well as everyone in this area who’s been following the progress. Keep him in your thoughts and prayers, that he’ll soon be able to get out from under the brainwashing he’s been subjected to in his life, and learn to live a full, healthy, happy life.

I’ll keep you all updated.