Comments on: This tranny worries far too much about passing

By: jamie

jamie — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 16:06:09 +0000

That sounds like a really powerful revelation to have had, but I guess, I’m not at that point yet. I suppose everyone reaches it in their own time, and in their own way.

I use the word tranny very carefully, and consider it a lot. I use it when referring to myself, or very very occasionally friends that have indicated that they’re comfortable with me using it in reference to them. I use it because I want to reclaim it as a part of my identity “trannyfag” and because I want to be able to use it, to bring some humour into the process. I understand your point of view though, and I wouldn’t use it except to bring humour into a serious discussion.

By: Jillian Barfield

Jillian Barfield — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 00:45:50 +0000

One day, long ago I had a revelation. The people that I was so worried about ‘clocking me’, I would never see again for the rest of my life. They were strangers. So what did I care if they clocked me or not? Unless they were friends or family, I just stopped worrying about passing that day and I haven’t looked back. It was much easier than I thought it would be and made my life a lot easier to deal with.

On another aspect of your post. I really don’t like the word tranny. I guess it just makes me feel like when we’re called that we’re somehow belittling the struggle that each and every one of us has had to or will face. It seems like a diminutive word. It’s such a huge thing that we do in transitioning. Tranny doesn’t seem to cut it. But that’s me.

Of course, you can use any word you like to describe yourself. Just thought I’d state an opinion.

By: jamie

jamie — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 16:38:52 +0000

You have the amazing talent of quite regularly being very right, and indeed very spot-on!
It’s not my business at all, but I guess it affects me because I care so much about passing, I think I need to care less

By: Dharma Kelleher

Dharma Kelleher — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 16:36:59 +0000

In Alcoholics Anonymous (of which I’m a member), we have a saying that says, “What other people think about you is none of your business.”

We have no control of what other people think. We may have some influence, but never control. Peace of mind comes from letting go of what other people are thinking. This includes other people’s perceptions of our gender.

If someone uses the wrong pronoun, politely correct them. If they persist, remind them that they wouldn’t like it if you disrespected them. If it really becomes a problem, avoid them or take other appropriate action.

Sometimes we just have to get out of our own head and smile.